11 tips to help you get relaxed wedding photos (even when you hate being photographed)
If I had a quid for every time someone told me they’re not photogenic or are super awkward in photos, I could comfortably fund my ever-growing bubble tea addiction.
Why so many people feel ‘not photogenic’
I get why people feel like this and honestly, I felt kinda the same before my own wedding. I was so worried I wouldn’t look how I wanted in my wedding photos and that I’d be disappointed with the results if I didn’t learn to pose or be photographed ‘like a pro’ before the big day.
Thankfully, amidst the chaos of wedding planning, I realised that a) I was a hypocrite (I’m always reassuring my clients that showing up and just being yourself is what brings the magic) and b) literally all that mattered was me, my future wife, and enjoying my day. That meant not trying to be something I wasn’t — I wanted to see the real me in my photos, the real me on my wedding day, the me who was stomping around Manchester city centre in a princess dress and Puma trainers, having the best damn day of my life. I didn’t want to look back and see someone trying to look like someone else, or come across in a way that didn’t feel ‘me’.
Ultimately, my wife was marrying me because she loves me — she loves the double chin I get when I throw my head back laughing, she loves me for how emotional I am (most of the time…!), for how expressive my face is, for my body shape, my height, my weight. She loves everything about me, and trying to be anything else in our wedding photos would be a disservice not only to her but most importantly, to myself.
So how do you actually feel comfortable in front of the camera?
So, this is all well and good, but picture the scene: you’re on your wedding day, the photographer arrives and you feel that all-too-familiar camera anxiety setting in. How do you actually relax and enjoy the experience without those insecurities taking over, and feel comfortable in front of the camera?
1. Go easy on yourself
Those feelings aren’t going to miraculously disappear on your wedding day, and that’s fine. You don’t have to magically fix your insecurities to find ways to enjoy the experience and get the most out of it. Give yourself some grace, take the pressure off and…
2. Shift your focus away from the camera
Take a deep breath and switch your focus from the photographer and camera towards your partner, your people and what’s going on around you. If you need to, pretend your photographer isn’t there - we won’t be offended!
3. Choose a wedding photographer you feel comfortable with
Choose a wedding photographer (and all vendors) you feel comfortable with from the outset. Make sure they align with your values and will feel like a natural part of the day. It can be really helpful to have a video or phone call with them before booking if you’re able to (I’m always happy to do this) to get a feel for them as a person and make sure they’re someone you feel like you can really be yourself with.
The photographs themselves are just one part of the service your photographer offers - the support, reassurance, friendly face, cheerleading, and whole experience is what you’re paying for. Make sure it all fits for you.
4. Build a relationship with your photographer before the day
Take advantage of any pre-wedding calls or meetings. Be honest, be yourself, and share any insecurities or anxieties that are coming up for you. Don’t be afraid to ask questions, share and connect on a personal level.
5. Remember what the day is actually about
It’s not a performance - there are so many things about your wedding day that are more important than how you look in your photos. It’s a rare opportunity to have all your favourite people with you for one day, capturing memories and moments. Focus on this and what matters to you both as a couple.
6. Surround yourself with the right people
Build your close wedding circle with hype people and loved ones who will make you feel amazing about yourself. As far as you can, create an environment where you feel as comfortable as possible and lean on those people in moments of insecurity or fear.
7. Ditch the posing pressure
In my opinion, strict posing is where things can get a little awkward. When I work with my couples, I aim for a super relaxed approach and my first priority is to give you a bit of a break from the intensity of the day and a chance to touch base with each other. Weddings can be so full on that it can be really hard to get even five minutes to really revel in the fact that you're ACTUALLY MARRIED, and sneaking off for photographs is the perfect excuse to squeeze in some alone time. I'll join you for an easygoing stroll where I ask you to take some deep breaths, soak up the atmosphere and think about the fact that you're now married to your favourite person! I use the gorgeous smiles, kisses and natural body language between you as a starting point, and may give very gentle directions to really make the most of those beautiful, real moments.
Of course, the party is still going on elsewhere so I tend to keep couples photos to around 15-20 minutes maximum so that you can get back to your loved ones and celebrate.
8. Keep moving
This is a really practical tip that can massively help to dissipate anxiety on the day. Standing still is bound to feel awkward, and also makes for much less interesting photos! Movement (dancing, laughing, walking, spinning, etc.) is fun, will physically expel stress, help you to feel more natural and also make for wayyy better, more natural wedding photos.
9. Embrace spontaneity
No matter how meticulously planned a celebration might be, there are always going to be moments that fall outside of what's expected. These can be brilliant opportunities to get some really exciting photographs that are bursting with personality, so as your photographer I'll be keeping a keen eye out for them!
A great example of this is a bangin' sunset, or what's known as 'golden hour'. This can present a pretty short window of opportunity where absolutely DIVINE glowy, atmospheric and totally frame-worthy photos are made. If a great sunset appears, or another unplanned opportunity for a brilliant photograph, you can expect me to come running over to grab you!
10. Feel everything
Ultimately, let yourself feel everything. The nerves, the joy, the trepidation, the happy emotion - it’s all part of the wonderful, magical experience of getting married!
11. Consider an pre-wedding photoshoot
This final tip is a proper practical one, and it can make a huge difference to how you feel having your photograph taken on your wedding day. An pre-wedding photoshoot is a fantastic way of getting used to being in front of the camera and getting familiar with how it makes you feel. Think of it as a trial run- you'll get an idea of how a couples' photoshoot works with your photographer, and it's also a brilliant way of getting to know the person who'll be photographing your wedding!
An added bonus is that these photos can actually come in really handy, whether you use them for your save-the-date cards, give them as thank you gifts or to frame and use to jazz up a bare wall in your home.
If you fancy having a chat about your wedding plans, want to book a pre-wedding shoot or generally just want to get a bit of a feel for who I am, get in touch! I'd love to hear from you.
What a good wedding photographer should do
Your photographer should meet you where you are - you don’t have to arrive at your wedding day already feeling confident in front of a camera. The right photographer will you help you get there so on the day, you can just be yourself and let those worries go. They’ll read the room, give you space when you need it, guide you gently when it helps and create an environment where you can actually relax into things. You’re not expected to know what you’re doing - that’s part of what you’re hiring someone for.
You’ll almost certainly find that at some point during the day, somthing will shift and you’ll stop noticing the camera altogether. That wonderful day you’ve so lovingly planned will sweep you up and catch you in the conversations, hugs, laughter and all the magical moments that are unfolding around you. It’s this presence in the moment that will make your wedding photos feel effortless.
The bottom line
You don’t need to fix anything about yourself before your wedding.
You don’t need to learn how to pose, or practise ‘looking’ a certain way in front of a camera.
You just need to give yourself a bit of time, kindness, grace and permission to just be in the moment.
The rest tends to take care of itself.