8 tips to help you get relaxed wedding photos (even when you hate being photographed)
If I had a quid for every time someone told me they’re not photogenic or are super awkward in photos, I could comfortably fund my ever-growing bubble tea addiction.
Why so many people feel ‘not photogenic’
I get why people feel like this and honestly, I felt kinda the same before my own wedding. I was so worried I wouldn’t look how I wanted in my wedding photos and that I’d be disappointed with the results if I didn’t learn to pose or be photographed ‘like a pro’ before the big day.
Thankfully, amidst the chaos of wedding planning, I realised that a) I was a hypocrite (I’m always reassuring my clients that showing up and just being yourself is what brings the magic) and b) literally all that mattered was me, my future wife, and enjoying my day. That meant not trying to be something I wasn’t — I wanted to see the real me in my photos, the real me on my wedding day, the me who was stomping around Manchester city centre in a princess dress and Puma trainers, having the best damn day of my life. I didn’t want to look back and see someone trying to look like someone else, or come across in a way that didn’t feel ‘me’.
Ultimately, my wife was marrying me because she loves me — she loves the double chin I get when I throw my head back laughing, she loves me for how emotional I am (most of the time…!), for how expressive my face is, for my body shape, my height, my weight. She loves everything about me, and trying to be anything else in our wedding photos would be a disservice not only to her but most importantly, to myself.
So how do you actually feel comfortable in front of the camera?
So, this is all well and good, but picture the scene: you’re on your wedding day, the photographer arrives and you feel that all-too-familiar camera anxiety setting in. How do you actually relax and enjoy the experience without those insecurities taking over, and feel comfortable in front of the camera?
1. Go easy on yourself
Those feelings aren’t going to miraculously disappear on your wedding day, and that’s fine. You don’t have to magically fix your insecurities to find ways to enjoy the experience and get the most out of it. Give yourself some grace, take the pressure off and…
2. Shift your focus away from the camera
Take a deep breath and switch your focus from the photographer and camera towards your partner, your people and what’s going on around you. If you need to, pretend your photographer isn’t there - we won’t be offended!
3. Choose a wedding photographer you feel comfortable with
Choose a wedding photographer (and all vendors) you feel comfortable with from the outset. Make sure they align with your values and will feel like a natural part of the day. It can be really helpful to have a video or phone call with them before booking if you’re able to (I’m always happy to do this) to get a feel for them as a person and make sure they’re someone you feel like you can really be yourself with.
The photographs themselves are just one part of the service your photographer offers - the support, reassurance, friendly face, cheerleading, and whole experience is what you’re paying for. Make sure it all fits for you.
4. Build a relationship with your photographer before the day
Take advantage of any pre-wedding calls or meetings. Be honest, be yourself, and share any insecurities or anxieties that are coming up for you. Don’t be afraid to ask questions, share and connect on a personal level.
5. Remember what the day is actually about
It’s not a performance - there are so many things about your wedding day that are more important than how you look in your photos. It’s a rare opportunity to have all your favourite people with you for one day, capturing memories and moments. Focus on this and what matters to you both as a couple.
6. Surround yourself with the right people
Build your close wedding circle with hype people and loved ones who will make you feel amazing about yourself. As far as you can, create an environment where you feel as comfortable as possible and lean on those people in moments of insecurity or fear.
7. Keep moving
This is a really practical tip that can massively help to dissipate anxiety on the day. Standing still is bound to feel awkward, and also makes for much less interesting photos! Movement (dancing, laughing, walking, spinning, etc.) is fun, will physically expel stress, help you to feel more natural and also make for wayyy better, more natural wedding photos.
8. Feel everything
Ultimately, let yourself feel everything. The nerves, the joy, the trepidation, the happy emotion - it’s all part of the wonderful, magical experience of getting married!
What a good wedding photographer should do
Your photographer should meet you where you are - you don’t have to arrive at your wedding day already feeling confident in front of a camera. The right photographer will you help you get there so on the day, you can just be yourself and let those worries go. They’ll read the room, give you space when you need it, guide you gently when it helps and create an environment where you can actually relax into things. You’re not expected to know what you’re doing - that’s part of what you’re hiring someone for.
You’ll almost certainly find that at some point during the day, somthing will shift and you’ll stop noticing the camera altogether. That wonderful day you’ve so lovingly planned will sweep you up and catch you in the conversations, hugs, laughter and all the magical moments that are unfolding around you. It’s this presence in the moment that will make your wedding photos feel effortless.
The bottom line
You don’t need to fix anything about yourself before your wedding.
You don’t need to learn how to pose, or practise ‘looking’ a certain way in front of a camera.
You just need to give yourself a bit of time, kindness, grace and permission to just be in the moment.
The rest tends to take care of itself.
If you’re looking for a photographer who’ll help you feel comfortable rather than choreographed, you can find out more about how I work or get in touch here.